Hello, please show, some vague romantic interest
because I want connection very badly and I'm not into sex
but romance is the easiest pretend-to-be-friends, it's easier to find
find a handhold, I'm a practical friendfloozy I just want to feel okay
I'm trying to escape mistakefears and the Godcallings on me
I just want to be normalish I want to wreck my life:
find a girl and make her my
wife, get children, debt and other ties because then I would have
a valid excuse
for the not trying so hard to change the world.
this idea of heavenme is an awful thing
I want to find the place past knowing
me and learn just to be.
I see twomind everythings, I could job
slanderings or critiques I always can find
the problemthings.
Forgive me that I've forgotten how to be impressed,
(I always see reasons)
I've known so many lovely people, more importantly
the ideaman in my head can imagine
a so-much-betterme,
and you'd never live up to those expectandards
in other words,
if you really knew me, and saw things,
you wouldn't want to be around me;
If you were the one,
you wouldn't need me.
The last stanza is punch-in-the-gut. Solid.
ReplyDeleteIt seems a bit disconnected for being the only stanza of the three that doesn't directly refer to romantic relationships and for being the shortest. Would it maybe work between the other two?
I do like the progressive slimming. Maybe I'm missing the forward movement.
The kick at the end of the first stanza also hits with a lot of force. In general you're making the confessional also the revelational. It's good. It's good, and my feeling is that the coinages work. Work really well.
Great points. Here's a slight edit.
ReplyDelete