The "Movie Star Life" (A Song)

Hello Mr. Director
Which one are you?
Oh yeah, the big hair,
Sorry, I am at the theater
Watching that one you made
About the...the...okay
It's Spielberg.

Hey boss, how about the Dodgers tomorrow?
What's that?
You're on the set and filming now?
Everything's fine just got one question:
Is this one where I'm the guy
From Enspacola, you know the one who
Likes to eat those empanadas?
Or is this the guy from Ensenada
Who likes to sip piña coladas?

Oh--the one from Colorado
Who got stuck in a snowstorm
And was fired from his job.
Sorry, boss, I'm a movie star

Making it in Hollywood is so hard.
Sometimes the best role you can find
Is a bum in a parked car.
I even flashed a few directors.
They said they didn't really like my chest hair.
Oh what to do, with a dream like this?

What's that, hold on,
I don't remember the part
Where the snowstorm guy
Got fired
Oh, you mean me, Sorry Mr. What's-your-name...
Score-says-he....haha, what are you like a
Basketball announcer 
"It's 65-64 and Durant is going
in for a dunk...HOLY MOLY!!!"

So he hung up;
I guess that's over.
That was my big break
As a human popsicle
That a man finds in a blizzard
Somewhere past Denver.

Making it in Hollywood is so hard
Unless you're in landscaping, image consulting, or used cars.
I was extra #22 in some big blockbuster film
Where an alien bit me in two.
What's a boy to do?

Hello, beautiful aspiring actress girlfriend.
How are you?  How is your hot friend?
Would you like to go--on a road trip?
Cuz I'm free all this week!

Sorry, I, forgot you're working
I was supposed to come visit you on your break.
You see I was just at the cinema,
Thinking about better films that Spielberg made.
How's your role, down at the community theater?
Do you know your lines?
Do you know your cues?

"You're breaking up with me."
That sounded so convincing.
I was worried for a moment it was true.
Well...
You can't DO THAT, cuz if you're breaking up with me
I'm BREAKING UP WITH YOU.

Making it in Hollywood is so hard
Thank goodness for the California cash refund.
My parents say that I should just grow up,
So I said okay, I'm moving home
And starting a youtube channel!

Sister can you grab me another footlong?
Cast and crew need to eat.
I've got this swell idea for a brand new song
And it isn't meta in the least!  *wink*
Oh I wish that Whedon nerd could see me now.

"What's that Joss, you'd like me to get eaten again?"
How many times is this alien invasion thing
Gonna happen?
You know I think I could be a villain on the new Firefly
I'd be like "Join the dark side Mal,
You're emotionally constipated
If you want to be more Vulcan-like
You've got to express your feelings."

You know, a lot of people been hanging up on me lately.
And making it on youtube
Ain't all its cracked up to be.
My video was flagged,
By some evil recording company, and
My mom makes me do my own laundry.