Success

Scared to death
of success
I don't know if I can
handle it
Money in the hand
makes me nervous
Committing to one thing
Makes me feel worthless
(and exposed)

I feel guilty if I'm happy
I have so many hurting friends.
I run from God cuz
I don't like that He might make demands.
I'm scared to death
of falling in love;
I write love songs so
I can laugh at myself for my silliness
And get in control.

And if you liked me because I was pretty
Or you talked to me cuz my songs
or plans were cool
Well, I don't want to let you down,
But I'm gonna let you down
I don't want that kind of attention
What is love at all if
You don't know the mess inside.

Conscious or self-conscious,
saboteur.

Sailor

After Mar Adentro

"A sailor went to sea"
See, smoke swirls calmly
the moment after
Rose, the thorn that breaks
a balloon
The hired help, the sea drowning
Float silent, neck trauma
Who are you? Savior?
The one born of flesh
Rosa, multi-foliate
Blooms
Full of grace
Beautiful petals
Love sans sex
Without the possibility
Love without doubt,
True love? (or only word love
something called love incarnate)
The law pertains to the spiritual
The courts and the wounds of the mind
The cage between the temples
The bird hope, hoping
For the exhale that snuffs the candle
Father, I commend my spirit to the empitness

Hey there sailor,
so far away amongst stars
Where you going Earendil?
How much time between the blinks of your eyes
Leading the captives in his refrain over the waves
My life in hell
The book says
You don't stop to think about how we love you,
That I, frustrated woman that I am,
Have the hope of living
Of seeing you again,
My son. My love.

Julia amongst the leaves
That which is possible
He closed the door, close your mouth
Against love's kiss.
Kiss death.
Close the book
Close the law

And at the end, how does it feel?
Did you live according to the flesh?
Why not write a flood of poems?
Don't you have another
For another day?
That you desire an end
This I understand
But possibilities in hand
I always think of what might possibly
I'm confused
Why leave?

Julia is sick.
She forgot everything the paper in front of her eyes
She doesn't feel I don't feel anything
Only absence

Stretch sails over a cross
A little foam on the pen
Under your neck, Sailor
A pillow of foam
Dead gladiator on the sand fighting death
You wrote the pain that
Life wasn't worth it
You died so we could die
In peace, with dignity
You didn't leave us here alone?
No.
I wait for wind's blow.

Thanks, Give (ing)

I.
Remember, remember, we ate together
Before we conquered and sent you away
Give thanks for the progress, the triumphs,
Don't show reservations
Give thanks for our enlightened reign.

II.
God thanks for the feast,
Thanks that I'm not POOR and starving like those [BLACK] people in Africa,
or HOMELESS somewhere on the street.
Don't forget about them neither.
Thanks for the pie and the peace of mind.

III.
Remember, remember, we ate together,
Before we grew up and moved away
Give thanks for the money, the successes,
Don't show hesitations
Give thanks for memories, they're what we have left.

IV.
God thanks for turkeys, they're funny-looking,
But they sure do taste alright,
Thanks for donations, thanks for kids,
Don't do that, don't throw your leftovers in the trash
Has no one told you you're homeless?

V.
Remember, remember, we sat together
Before we laid hands on to pray
Give thanks for the time, for the friends we've had.
Don't believe limitations.
Give thanks for provisions and praise.

VI.
God thanks for miracles,
Thanks that I'm poor and starving like those rich people on the tv
and the politicians and kings.
Don't show me satisfaction or praise,
But mercy, Lord, have mercy.

What mercy that I have something ! have something to eat
To share with someone in need.

VII.
Remember, remember, we ate together,
Taking the flatbread and wine.
Give thanks for the daily salvations and praise
For the winds and the hummingbirds and waves.
For song! For love! For life!
Thanks, give.