To Live

To live
Bounding over each wave of life,
Holding my breath,
Taking in each kiss that comes,
But not taking kisses, and only breaking hearts
On sunsets and songs
To breathe heavy, feel the bite of icy air,
Wild dogs, and an empty wallet.
To dance in the Spirit until we fall down,
To dance again,
Walking along the water, running, spinning,
Swimming, because it scares me,
Climbing the hills because they are there,
A life without fear.

I'm terrified of being alone.
I could go anywhere if you'll go with me.
I'm terrified you'll abandon me if I don't follow
Correctly.

To live,
Not grasping, but gasping,
Moving through the earth's colours and lines
With a steady hand and deep lungs
With arms open wide
For every sunset, every sunrise,
Every new friend, sad stranger, and old acquantaince

I'm terrified of an empty hand.
I will go anywhere but promise me I won't
Have to be alone anymore.
I don't want to be alone anymore.
I've never been alone, but
I could use someone with skin on.
Someone who will hold my hand and listen.
It's funny, I think Freud was right but so wrong,
I think more than anything, we want someone like
a Mom, someone to hold us and tell us it will be alright,
But since, we are grasping, since it is acceptable,
Since, at least, there is release, we look to sex instead.

To live, as a brother and father to all
To give, and smile because they'll never know
To try, to sing, to give your all
And go to sleep having left it all behind.
To live, to write into the soil
To sink my hands into the earth and
Embrace, the hard ground and the beauty mystery
To love. To dispense mercy on all the -isms and
Smiths for the sake of pansies and the way they
make me smile. For the sake
Of being loved.

Friday Nights

When I am mad at the world,
I stay up late
There is no reason to get up in the morning.
But it's foolish.

Waiting for something to matter.
Waiting for something to wake me up,
So I can sleep.